Fuck Ozzy Osbourne…

The shirt that cost $78.

Once again, I’ll say it.

Fuck Ozzy Osbourne.

It’s tough for me to say it, but for the past decade, I’ve watched someone that I’ve looked up to for a long time essentially go from being one of the founders to the greatest band of all time to being nothing more than corporate shill for sale to the highest bidder.

Why do I say this? Here’s a little story…

The other day while browsing a major metal website Blabbermouth, I happened upon the news that Ozzy was going to be doing a meet and greet at Nordstrom in Northern Virginia.

I told some of my friends about it and since it was my friend’s birthday, we figured that we’d make the trek down there and meet the voice behind Black Sabbath and have a great time.

Or so we thought.

I had read that in order to meet Ozzy, you had to purchase a piece of clothing from the Affliction clothing line. I checked the price of shirts and figured that it wasn’t too bad a price to pay to meet Mr. Osbourne.

We arrived at the Tysons Corner Center elated that we would get our pictures taken and an autograph. Nothing was going to deter us from this. It was our sole mission for today.

When we walked through the front door of the store, a kind young lady gave us a sheet with how to make your purchase and go about meeting Ozzy.

The instructions were this (taken directly from the sheet…)

How to meet Ozzy:

– Make your Affliction purchase in the store.
– Proceed to stand in line.
– As soon as Ozzy arrives, we will begin checking customers in.
– Present your receipt to our check-in desk and receive and an Affliction bracelet.
– Only those who purchase an Affliction item, will receive a bracelet and be allowed to stand in line.
– Please no guests in line.


– Please know, you are only allowed one photograph per Affliction clothing purchase.
– Due to the popularity of the Ozzy, we cannot guarantee that you will be able to meet with him in person.
– Meet with Ozzy while time permits.

Okay, easy enough.

That’s until we saw the Affliction clothing line.

That shirt that I have pictured above, take a guess how much that motherfucker cost?

Give up?

Seventy eight American dollars.

No, I am not kidding at all. It cost that much money for a shitty looking, flimsy shirt that some art school dork wouldn’t be caught dead in.

You know, no big deal if you’re rolling in the dough but if I’m not. I can’t even pay my bills on time because I’m a total schlep.

My friends and I decide to see if we can weasel our way in, but no dice. They had the entire scene on lock down. We decided to sit down and review our options when one of the hired security guards came over and started giving us the typical hired security guard line of questioning.

“Are you getting in line? If you’re not, then…”

I cut him off and said “then get out?”
That opened a floodgate because after I muttered that, the security guard was soon joined by a few of his colleagues and it felt like we weren’t welcome there. I, of course, decided to make my grievances be known while we were leaving.

After that we decided to walk around the mall and get some food while still going over what we can do. My friend’s girlfriend decided that they were going to buy a shirt, meet Ozzy and then return it. Easier said than done. I wasn’t present, but from what I gathered they had purchased the shirt and while he was in line to meet Ozzy, one of the people that work for Affliction who probably likes professional wrestling and is glad to see American Gladiators back on the air quickly questioned her and then pulled my friend out of line. He left willingly but felt cheated as did the rest of us.

We had driven about an hour and a half to meet Ozzy with only the expectation of getting a photo and a story to tell people but instead we were treated like complete and utter tools with having to make a purchase that was far beyond our means in order to meet a man that I’ve held in regard for so long.

Of course, we weren’t the only ones that felt that way. There was a long streak of dissent from people who shared our disbelief that we were treated like that. It was nothing more than a sales ploy by both Nordstrom and Affliction to prey on people’s thinking that it would be easy to meet a celebrity. It seems as if the lovable Ozzy that people expect from his television show has been replaced by a sap controlled by a opportunist cunt that hold his strings and checks his bank account. But then again, this is the modern world where anyone will sell out in a heartbeat in order to benefit off the mindless ways of the masses.

From now on, I’m going to look at Black Sabbath (who are one on my favorite bands) and everything that Ozzy has done in his solo career in a nostalgic light because his soul died a long time ago with signing on the dotted line to become another fucking corporate puppet. His relevancy has been diminished and he should just finally fucking retire and fade away.

Thanks for the memories, Ozzy.

Yours Truly,
A Former Fan.


23 Responses to “Fuck Ozzy Osbourne…”

  1. January 5, 2008 at 11:32 am

    Man I am so glad I didn’t bother going, I had planned to. Monday is my birthday and meeting the ozman would have been a great present. I read the ad saying you had to buy something and thought “ok, I can deal with that” It said no outside memoribilia would be accepted so i called Nordstroms to ask what we were supposed to get signed. It also said customer must be present to receive autograph but when I called Nordstroms they said Ozzy was not signing autographs that he felt he was too old and it would tire him out. WTF???

    I almost went anyway but decided fuck that, I have supported this man with my loyalty and my money for over 30 years and he can’t sign a freaking card for me??? I agree, the Ozzy I knew has died and all thats left is a corporate sell out. Thats not to say I won’t enjoy his music as I always have but I’ll look at it the same as Jim Morrison, or Bon scott, a great rocker who died before his time.

    Glad to see I’m not the only on who feels like I do!

  2. January 5, 2008 at 3:01 pm

    78 dollars for a t-shirt


    that’s some ‘ol bullshit

    I thought that about homeboy LONG ago (back when the show got renewed after that big hoopla about wanting to cancel).
    Sucks to see nothing’s changed.

  3. 3 robert marino
    January 16, 2009 at 2:46 pm


  4. 4 robert marino
    January 16, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    im sorry to hear that you jewbags i love u all penis!!!!!!!!!!

  5. 5 Lex
    April 3, 2009 at 8:15 am

    Hey guys check out this new website celebmemorial.com In memory all the celebrities that died it’s got videos and stuff really nice!

  6. April 5, 2009 at 4:06 pm



  7. 7 chris
    February 19, 2010 at 8:05 pm

    How about fuck you of course Ozzy is going to charge us to buy his book its a aoutograph singing dumb ass

    • 8 Carl
      December 21, 2010 at 5:24 am

      Thats right!!! Fuck all you cryin’ bitches! Ozzy doesnt owe u shit! Why r u pissed anyway? Your the dumbass that was startin shit! Tryin to sneak in, buy and return shit! Hell, I’d sell ur mom to see Ozzy! Obviously u aint no kind of fan! You’re a fucking faggot! A real fan would have had his girl turnin tricks in the parking lot! The guard was obviously trained to spot assholes like u so shut the fuck up and stop bein pissed. YOU fucked up, not Ozzy! Ass hole!!! (SPIT)

  8. 9 chris
    February 19, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    and its for a charaty to dumbo

  9. 10 fuckyouozzyosbourne
    November 29, 2011 at 7:33 am

    Ozzy Osbourne is a brain fucked drug and alcohol effected freak, I will open a bottle of wine when he dies, not soon enough. His part jewish wife and the jewish media promote him so brain fucked idiots that follow anything will follow him. He can barely stand and sing, put him in an old persons home so he can dribble looking out the window while he drinks his soup through a straw. He was hopeless in black sabbath and everything after that as well. If there is a hell I hope he goes there for biting the head off a dove as well as the head of a dead bat a fan threw on stage. No doubt his wife told him to say the bat was alive as he would be too stupid to think of that. What is this ‘god bless ozzy obsbourne’ crap move cd dvd thing ? Why should god bless this animal torturer ? It should be called damn ozzy osbourne to hell or something, no doubt his wife though of that one as well just in case there is a god buying free passage to heaven LOL. It seems that these days, as it has been always, that if you want to be in a metal band you must not speak ill of so said icons as ozzy osbourne LOL It is this type of mental thinking that keeps the $’s rolling in for ozzy osbourne, or should I say dollars for sharon osbourne. He has been a has been for so long, his cd and dvd covers are a joke. Ozzy osbourne is a sad loser.

  10. 11 K-man
    August 15, 2012 at 5:46 am


  11. July 9, 2013 at 11:28 am

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  12. September 25, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    Hi there friends, nice post and nice arguments commented here, I am
    really enjoying by these.

  13. 14 ozzieOsbourneCockMonger
    April 8, 2016 at 2:12 pm

    Chop ozzies cock into sashimi and serve it to the fans for $’s.

  14. September 8, 2016 at 10:09 pm

    Hi, this weekend is good in support of me, as this point in time i am
    reading this enormous informative piece of writing here at my

  15. 16 Ozzy & Kerry King Cunts
    March 8, 2017 at 10:22 am

    Ozzy’s sashimi cock is only the appetiser. Main dish includes Kerry King’s goat tie beard rolled in his mothers shit and period juice chopped into thin wafer slices.

  16. March 8, 2017 at 10:27 am

    Fuck Slayer, only their first few album’s were good. People are addicted to slayer like they are addicted to drugs. Somehow people equate slayer with being cool and smoking drugs. Kerry King the money machine is bitch fucking the whole band ripping them off while fans still follow them like Kerry slapping them in the face with his beard soaked in his mothers piss. What does this have to do with Ozzy ? I will tell you. Kerry’s urine soaked beard can be wronged out and used as wine served with Ozzy’s sashimi cock meal.

  17. March 8, 2017 at 10:32 am

    Ozzy Osbourne throws water over himself during performances so you can not see him urinate because he has lost bladder control.

  18. March 8, 2017 at 10:38 am

    Kerry King mop up that piss with your beard.

  19. August 12, 2017 at 11:34 pm

    I am actually pleased to glance at this weblog posts which carries
    tons of helpful facts, thanks for providing such information.

  20. 21 DavidVincentsCock
    December 25, 2017 at 12:00 am

    We need a Fuck David Vincent since he has gone country and western. Chop his cock off and slice it thinly like sashimi and have the chef use his knife to flick the pieces into his fans mouths.

  21. 22 Tony Campos In Love With Al Jorgensen
    April 5, 2018 at 1:39 pm

    Tony Campos bass player for Static X, fuck you, most probably it was you supplying Wayne with drugs. You showed your color’s Campos trying to have sex with Wayne’s wife, jealous Spanish good for nothing long bearded try hard wanna be. Fear Factory is a harbour for Spanish and Mexican illegals. What has this to do with Ozzy ? Let’s not forget Al Jorgensen. All of them, cut off their cock’s and put them through a meat slicer at the deli.

  22. April 5, 2018 at 1:47 pm

    Yes, Tony Campos sure had a big hand in keeping the addiction going. To quote Wayne “I made a deal with Tony [Campos], my old bass player, last year. He’s the only legal STATIC-X member besides me. I paid him a bunch of money last year to use the name, and he’s just a greedy motherfucker, man. He just hates me to death. He’s trying to gouge the shit out of me. I made him an offer to give him 25 percent of my net profits and he refused it. He wants this outrageous number. [laughs] He wants more money than I make in a year”. Campos for sure sold drugs to Wayne to make a buck.

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